Regaining Optimism

Trait #5, below, is the basis of Martin EP Seligman's book: LEARNED OPTIMISM. This book should have been called Learned Pessimism because we can see that little children are naturally curious and optimistic. Furthermore, our culture teaches us to be pessimistic and discouraged. I think this learned pessimism would interfere with all the other eleven traits McGinnis discovered! Therefore, we will seek permission to use an Optimism Survey from Seligman's book for you to self-test and score on-line.

Regaining Optimism may prove to be one of the most important ideas
developed in the last couple decades.

1. Optimists are seldom surprised by trouble
   We learn to see ourselves as problem-solvers! It is impossible to have a life without problems. Professional sales people know they must discover the real problem, to offer the real solution.
   We need anticipate problems in the workplace, without them we are out of business!
   We must have a tough-minded optimism to let our dreams become reality. McGinnis says: "Avoid phony pep talks."
   The power of positive thinking has been misunderstood! It is more of a mood to ready ourselves for success than a definite prescription for how things should actually work out!
   Tough-minded optimists can to talk freely about negative feelings without wallowing in them. Sadness at a loss can be a noble acknowledgment of something (one) valuable. They also look for the good in bad situations. Our website motto is:
   "What's right with you is the point! What's wrong with you is beside the point."
   Finally, we must strike "failure" out of our vocabulary (use glitch, bungle, setback, mistake instead.)
   
   
2. Optimists look for partial solutions
   Beginning is half the doing for optimists are people of action.
   Freeing themselves from perfectionism, which is actually idealism, they are willing to take small steps toward success.
   18/34 of subjects in study who linked perfection with self-worth. On average, they earned $15,000 per year less!
   Greatest baseball batter, Ty Cobb only hit once in every three times at bat!
   Optimists understand, we get little boosts by each small victory.
   
   
3. Optimists believe they have control over their future
   Actually, optimistic thinking enhances willpower and self-confidence
   They don't think other people's opinion should determine our reality. Thus they keep their distance from bitchy people.
   One teacher reported that Albert Einstein was: "a very poor student, mentally slow, unsociable, always daydreaming, spoiling it for the rest of the class....It would be in the best interest of all if he were removed from school at once!"
   While optimists don't fool themselves about talents, they seem confident they can accomplish almost anything by willpower!
   
   
4. Optimists allow time for regular renewal
   They make a special effort to get acquainted with new people.
   Sometimes they look for someone who might benefit from a new friendship.
   Optimists attach themselves o hopeful or upbeat people.
   They are careful not to hang around complainers more than necessary.
   Occasionally they change their intellectual habits, by turning off the TV in the evening and reading or doing hobbies and/or art.
   Optimists know they need to feed their spiritual side. Early mystics saw "burnout" as leakage of spiritual power.
   They also make use of the ancient idea of the Sabbath, finding a balance between rest and action.
   They talk to a child when the opportunity permits.
   
   
5. Optimists interrupt their negative trains of thought
   As mentioned in the introductory remarks above optimists monitor and question automatic thoughts.
   As Seligman's research showed, we can get in the habit of distorting our understanding of unfortunate events.
   To correct distortions, they are alert when they find themselves "catastrophizing," making mountains out of mole hills.
   Other distortions are "generalising," such as: "I have always been weak in this area and always will be," etc.
   Also, pessimists tend to take on, or "personalize" blame for things going wrong. As a habit, this is poison to optimists.
   They are also alert to correct when selecting the negative, and not allowing themselves to receive compliments when due.
   Also, they constantly question if these negative thoughts are their own or just a tape from someone in the past.
   Optimists put the best possible connotation on other people's remarks, giving themselves and others the benefit of the doubt.
   
   
6. Optimists heighten their power of appreciation.
   Optimists develop "thank you" power.
   They use the mind's selective powers to see beauty around them.
   It is a subtle but important distinction to be governed more by likes than dislikes
   Optimists have overcome obsessions with failure.
   Many have learned, while not shutting out the pain, they can appreciate their joys or "blessings"
   Dale Carnegie suggested listing all our blessings. Next imagining what it would be like to lose them.
   Then replace them, one by one, savoring the bounty.
   
   
7. Optimists use their imagination to rehearse success.
   Pessimists are good at using their imagination but to visualize failure.
   McGinnis would say: "most worry is a misuse of creative imagination."
   Optimists picture the desired event occurring in the present but are not disappointed when it turns out different.
   They develop positive images to replace anxiety-producers. Then, they savor the experience of seeing "movies" in their mind.
   When visualizing they also enlist other senses such as sounds, smells, textures.
   Optimists are realistic in visualizing. To make images believable they can scale down if needed.
   They often have a regular time and place for visualizing and stating affirmations
   Leaders are often depicted as people of vision. Their dreams and pictures are preferred outcomes.
   Thus, imagination can maintain our hope and sense of well being in the face of difficulty.
   
   
8. Optimists are cheerful, even when they can't be happy.
   Our subconscious is easily convinced about our evaluation of things.
   We can counteract negative emotions. As Kurt Lewin said in 1935: "Change behavior & attitude will follow."
   McGinnis noted: "it is impossible to say 'I am depressed' while the body is jumping for joy.
   Optimists behave "as if," and things are more likely to follow the pattern. Danger: don't become 'artificial.'
   They exercise and spiritual calisthenics by reciting favorite passages from scriptures: e.g.."This is the day..."
   Norman Cousins employed the therapy of laughter watching funny movies; he laughed himself out of the hospital!
   Albert Schweitzer employed amusing stories for his staff to overcome daily pressures in the jungle.
   Optimists are determined to get along with people even if they are having a bad time.
   Aggressiveness is often a cover-up for fear.
   Optimists insist on birthday parties and other celebrations even during hard times!
   Asian workers sing together. Many people use music to lift our mood, it has a very nurturing effect.
   Optimists are healthier because they take good care of our bodies. Exercise is an antidote to depression, too.
   
   
9. Optimists think they have great capacity for stretching
   Optimist think our personal best is yet to come! George Bernard Shaw said:
   "To have succeeded, is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I prefer a state of continual becoming with a goal in front and not behind."
   Beyond Poly-Anna ideas of "positive thinking," the mind has great power and we all have untapped potential.
   We can all think of people who overcame socially imposed limitations, such as the 4 minute mile.
   The poet Browning treated despair of aging: "Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be!"
   
   
10. Optimists build lots of love into their lives
    Optimists keep friendships in tact.
    People often cut themselves off from other people when depressed. This is the thing they can worst they can do!
    Friendship is vital for sound mental and physical health; so, we must value it.
    Optimists realize the simple homely things of life are important. We can learn a lot form group feedback.
    We must allow deep connections in normal interactions. It is fact: Weak social ties increases health risk.
    Love nurtures optimism, "better to give than receive." "I had no shoes and complained until I met a man with no feet."
    Understanding is flip-side of love. Prof. Williams, author of TYPE-A BEHAVIOR AND YOUR HEART says that the "go-getter" style of the Type A person is not a problem. But, hostility can be produced when the typeA is thwarted. Hostility leads to cynicism, "a contempt for human nature and its motives." This cynicism is poison to the heart! Williams suggests developing a trusting heart, giving people the benefit of the doubt and trying to understand the emotions of the one who wrongs us.
    
    
11. Optimists like to swap good news
    Successful managers believe they have "good people." Or do they have their eye out for goodness?
    The way we talk effects our state of mind. Talk about successes; Minimal focus on glitches, because mistakes are inevitable.
    Our attitude toward others greatly determines theirs toward us.
    Gossiping may suggest to others how you would talk about them behind their back!
    When we are optimistic about people, they seem to confirm our expectations.
    Lou Tice, Pacific Institute: "You may not get what you want in life but what you expect. If you expect customers to treat you like a second class citizen, because you are in sales, that's what you get."
    Optimists don't hold grudges or horde memories of previous wrongs, "Love forgets mistakes!"
    Complainers are best helped by selective inattention.
    Success story telling is great for morale but it's also educational.
    
    
12. Optimists practice accepting what cannot be changed
    Edison said: "Show be a man who is utterly contented and I'll show you a failure!"Innovators are discontented with the status quo. But, while they work for change, they accept things which are not under their control.
    Perseverance is one thing, but there is a point to not throwing good "money after bad."
    Other opportunities can be drifting away, while we pursue a dead end.
    Motivational speakers often wax eloquent about the gold miner who stopped just inches from a rich vein. However, it takes courage to admit it is time to cut our losses!
    Contentment with ourselves is an art. Yet, most unhappiness is caused by wanting what we don't have!
    Optimists ask: "what can I do to change this situation" if nothing, they let it go!
    "All you can do, is all you can do, but all you can do, is enough!"
    We are the only species which can alter our destiny by altering our attitudes
    Pessimists are realistic at times, yet Viktor Frankl, reflecting on his concentration camp experience, points out:
    "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance, to choose one's own way."
    . . . . . . . ." We have the ability to turn tragedy into triumph!"